Blackened Heart
by TheSilentTrowaBarton
Summary: oneshot When Mai’s parents explain the importance of not going to the Agni Kai, she decides to begin her rebellious phase. Mai discovers how easy it is to get oneself wrapped up in the cloud of lies that the Fire Nation tells it’s people when she watches


A/n: This has always crossed my mind, as to why no one has ever wrote a story like this. Inspired by an episode of Escaflowne, and the song 'Twilight' by Vanessa Carlton. (She also redid 'paint it black' listen to it too). This is slightly depressing… ok it's very depressing to write. (That's why I love it.) No Flames. (This is very different from what I normally write.) After the lyrics, is the final part of the fic. K? (the lyrics make the fic make more sence.) Sorry if Mai seems OOC. I wanted her to be just within the stage of innocence and darkness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. I don't own the song 'Twilight'. (I do suggest that you listen to it.)

Blackened Heart

(Agni Kai at SunSet)

That day, the scream had echoed through the walls, the stones, the pillars, the paint, and the fire.

"_It's for your own good. You're too young, and true ladies do not attend the Agni Kai."_

"Listen to your father darling. Besides, what good will it do for you to be there?" 

At the beginning of her rebellious phase, her parent's words had become options, not orders. She had just breached thirteen with the realization that her parents would soon ask her to marry, work at the palace, or decide on some form of a future. How was one to plan the rest of their life at thirteen? She was beginning to hate humanity for its ignorance. No matter how much she loved her parents, she was beginning to realize that they too, were human.

With her untainted innocence, she had chosen to harden herself against the world by doing what she was 'asked' not to. However, doing this all at once and on her own had not been her intent.

She had been walking about the abandon palace halls while the rest of the willing country had attended the ceremony; most of the lower and middle class had avoided the event. Only the larger amount of upper class and military personnel had truly attended, but in terms of importance, that was everyone.

Something in her mind had begged her to stop him, but there was no success in her mission.

"_Don't do it, for your own good." She had been stalking him for a chance to catch him alone._

"_Why not?" He never trusted her. Not since he had matured and realized the loyalties of friendship._

"_I have a bad feeling about it…" Her head was bashfully lowered._

"…_You're her friend. Why should I listen to you? My honor is at stake! How dare you try to intervene!" He had brushed her off and left the garden._

Now she walked about the palace, board out of her mind as she traced the blood red walls with her blackened nails. A sudden uproar came from the far away arena that was located in the opposite end of palace. Then silence. She had been watching the servants prepare all day long, and now at sunset, just as the rules had commanded for the event to take place, everyone had gathered. Who had made such a ridiculous event anyway? Another 'brilliant' Fire Lord she supposed. The only things that made the Fire Lord 'brilliant' were the flames that kept him illuminated.

There was a low bellow. The words were inaudible; all the same, she knew his voice from a ways away. The Fire Lord was speaking. It echoed through the halls. Then her stomach tightened as she heard Zuko's voice follow. Then the Fire Lords again. No one spoke during Agni Kai; Azula had told her that.

…It had kept her awake at night, the sound that all at once filled the halls. His pained shout echoed in the air. She had seen it happen in her dreams, as she had taken on the role of a prophet. She had prayed to Agni and the spirit of Lady Ursa to deliver her from this event. He was the light in her world, the thing that kept her going, and finding hope for humanity. When they were younger, he had shown her what one should honestly strive for, and not the false hopes of conquest and power that the Fire Lord bestowed into the hearts of the nobles.

As the crowds poured from the hall, Mai fought her way upstream, clawing, and hurdling through armor and robes. Why were they leaving? Why had she not stopped this? Why had she not taken the role of the heroic female who threw herself before her savior and passed into the spirit world for the one she loved? Did she love him? Anxiety ran through her, though her training had taught her to remain as calm as possible. Her face revealed nothing as she rushed passed the brainless servants that called themselves higher class.

"Hello Mai." The voice was menacing, mocking… her best friend just as she had anticipated. "Too bad you weren't there to see it. You were right; my brother's downfall was quite interesting. Ty Lee would have enjoyed it too, had she not left for the circus after we graduated the academy." Azula stood in the middle of the flow of nobles, and as if some unmovable force, they parted around her like a river does a boulder. "Is that a new outfit?" She scanned the grape colored jacket, and the crimson pants and shirt. "Interesting color's. They match the burn fairly well, Come to think of it, they are the same colors."

Mai stood for a moment, silent before Azula, before touching her friends shoulder. Something inside her shy emotions snapped. Never before this had she looked down her nose at the princess. Raising her chin and straightening her back, Mai thrust Azula into the quickly moving crowd and began to force her way effortlessly through the now parting river of people; this time the division was for her.

There were a few shocked cries as Azula collapsed upon the floor before several politicians in a heap. Many of them knelt and began to beg for forgiveness while others helped her up. "There's no use Mai. It's been done." Mai bitterly cursed Azula within her heart. Her friend did not realize what she was shouting; an announcement that truth, true nobility, and the greatest form of pure humanity had now been permanently thrashed.

"All bruises heal Azula, but scars never disappear." She didn't notice the several people who halted at her words.

Mai shoved the doors open; her soul was screaming for her to resist this pursuit. This new boldness was overtaking her, and she need to protect this something that could not be seen. Something that all ignorant Fire Benders and Fire Nation citizens alike had not seen since the days that the Sages ruled the country as a group and served the Avatar in peace.

"Hold him down!" A healer shouted.

"A good deal of the damage is internal."

"Why is he bleeding? There should be no blood!"

Mai felt her newfound courage collapse in her stomach as her eyes traced over the blood that pooled on the floor in odd quantities. Blood after an Agni Kai? There should have only been burn marks…

In a blind storm of pain Zuko clawed at his face. Rage and grief blinded him. "MAKE IT STOP!"

"Shut him up!" One of the servants barked as Zuko fought against the surface he rested on. His back arched and his feet pushed at the bed as his body searched for some way to comfort itself.

People were rushing about the room carrying bowls, jars, sheets, bandages, what ever seemed to be the most logic thing for them to hold. It did not matter if it would help Zuko. They were more concerned about their own heads, and Ozai's image of them. _Peasant Dogs_…

"SOMEONE HOLD HIM DOWN!"

Zuko writhed in pain, batted at those around him, tore the sheets and clothes of those around him. "FATHER!"

Mai's heart sank. Why did he call for the man that had moments ago physically 'announced' his repulsion for him? Was there no one else in his life? Several men rushed over and held him down as commanded. Where was Iroh? She supposed that he was grieving. There was nothing he would have been able to do. Zuko didn't listen to him well enough. Something in her compelled her to be that last person for him to hang onto.

A man rushed past Mai and knocked her to the floor. "What is she doing in here?"

Mai's hazy pink eyes gazed up at the man.

"Get her out of here!"

Before Mai realized it, a man had scooped her up into his arms and began carrying her out the doors. "Wait…" Mai whispered as her limp body went willingly. "WAIT!" She began to thrash about the closer she came to the exit. "LET ME GO!" It was her fault that Zuko was injured.

"Stay out of the way!" The man thoughtlessly tossed her onto the floor into one of the puddles of blood. She disregarded it.

Mai scurried to her feet, clawing at the ground for traction till she stood full height. The bed had become some tormenting table of pain and suffering. They had made Zuko their doll. "Zuko." Mai was horrified as she came about the backs of the servants to get a glimpse of him. All her panicked mind was seeing was blood and one decaying prince whose spirit was fighting out the last of his hour.

One of the healers tossed her to the side, "OUT OF THE WAY!" The woman began to shove something into Zuko's mouth, "Make him swallow that!" She commanded as three women held his mouth shut.

His hands violently gripped at the women's, then shredded fabrics as he screamed once released.

Mai rushed to the other side of the large bed, pushing all the supplies healers, servants and nursemaids had placed there she crawled over to his side and grasped his hand. "Zuko." She whispered

One of the men watched as Zuko's grip tightened on her hand. "Let her stay. That's one hand we don't have to fight off."

Mai's expression darkened as his grip became limp when what seemed like only a few short seconds had past. "I should have followed you, drilled it into you." She whispered guiltily. "If I could have made you trust me, you wouldn't be here. I could have convinced you to back down. My friendship with Azula did this. My fear did this." Mai's expression became cold when his hand slipped from hers.

"The medicine is working!" There was a large sigh of relief in the room. "We can begin to work."

Working about him, the nurses finally cleaned up most of the blood that covered the floor and bed. Sheets were thrown away; new ones took their places. Messes were cleaned, and Zuko's burn became clear and imminent.

"…It won't heal." One of the herbalists sighed. The room went silent for a moment. "…Fire Lord Ozai has spoken. He plans to banish the prince once his health returns."

Mai's eyes mindlessly remained glued upon the burn. Brining shock, then disgust, sadness, then when all negative emotions had rushed through her, she began to look over her prince and a smile spread widely across her face. "It's rather beautiful."

Many of their heads rose to meet her eyes that now spoke of death. The bright pink was fading into a pastel almost silver color.

"This is his statement to the world. His testimony." Mai folded her hands and made a bowing motion toward the prince. The servants followed her actions.

"Lady." Someone placed a hand on Mai's shoulder. "Are you awake?" They shook her, from her spot on the bed.

Her eyes were heavy, not with tears, but the desperate need for sleep as the sunset had long passed. "Yes… I am."

"It would be wise for you to leave it's very late." The man left the room quickly.

Mai made her way off of the bed, and rested her feet on the cold floor. Her shoes had been removed and her back was turned to his unmoving, but breathing, figure. "I never wanted this. I never wanted to be friends with Azula to see you hurt, or for riches. I was her friend, because she believed that I could be something more. She was the first person to ever believe that I was something more then a useless doll." Mai looked over her shoulder at his frail figure. "You believed in me too I suppose?"

There was a chuckle from the bed "What was I supposed to believe?"

"Zuko?" Crawled over to him, palms feeling heavier with each movement till she rested beside him on her knees.

He shifted his weight till he rested on his elbows and turned to her. "Why are you here?"

Mai bowed her head. "I am responsible for what has happened today… You should rest." Mai went to touch his shoulder, but her hand was soon batted away as he lifted himself up to sit higher then her. He was taller then her, even in defeat.

"Shut up." His words were bitter, still Mai nodded to him. His deep sigh filled the room. "You were blinded by her power, and the glamour that followed her, weren't you?"

Mai's eyes shyly gazed up into his, "I tried not to be."

"But being around her made you shine, didn't it?"

Mai paused and sat upright. "Am I that ignorant?" Mai looked to her gloved hands, as if they were stained with blood. "Why would she…?" Her gaze when back to him as her fingers curled inward

"That's why she's always rubbing it in." Zuko rubbed one of his bare shoulders, "It happens. Your friend Ty Lee realized it and escaped it. Mai…" Zuko looked to her, winced for a moment, then placed a hand over his scar, "There are other ways to shine. There's always been something for you here. Just because you aren't royalty, doesn't mean you aren't rich and brilliant. Amongst the darkness, there is always a light within those who hold honor, and true goodness." Zuko pulled his hand from his scar and smiled at her, "My Uncle taught me that."

"Zuko." Mai sighed. Again, she bowed, this time, lowering her face to her knees. "I will craft myself into the shell that refuses the moths flame that your sister has created."

"…hu?" Zuko asked, voice squeaking a bit.

"oh…." Mai's cheeks grew hot, "I mean to say… I will try to be… good, as you wish of me."

His hand rested softly on her shoulder. "You can't just be good because someone else wants you to. You have to be, because _you_ want to."

Mai smiled. He was truly innocent and heroic. Though he too had threads of ignorance about his web, they were that of purity, and not stupidity. "Thank you Prince Zuko." Mai slowly sat upright, and bobbed for a moment.

"Are you alright?"

"Don't be concerned with me. It's just getting very late, and dark." Mai whispered, "Are you feeling well?"

Zuko grasped a hold of one of her shoulders. "The medication will numb my pain for the time being. Do you need an escort home this time of night?"

Mai's eyes grew quickly heavy. Her body grew limp, and her figure crumbled into a heap in his arms.

"Mai!"

Mai's eyes resisted the streams of sunlight pouring through the windows as she sat up weakly. "The healers say that you stayed with me the entire time." His voice was a soft whisper. "You tried to warn me, then you stay with me while I'm in pain." It was a question; he wanted to know why.

"As I said, it was my fault." She whispered. She was still in his quarters? "I should leave…"

Zuko watched her for a moment as she crawled to the edge of the bed, "Is Azula proud?"

"Rather then proud, she's more boastful."

Zuko lowered his gaze. "Then my father is banishing me like everyone is saying?"

"…I'm sorry."

"Why?" Zuko bowed his head. "My ignorant moves kept me heading toward this trap. I was the one who did not listen. Not to just you, but mother and Uncle also."

She turned back to face him cross-legged on his bed, "The palace is corrupt. By getting out, you're saving the most promising image of hope that the Fire Nation has." A forceful tone began to fill her, "You cannot stay here and allow yourself to become painted over with all these cruel motives."

Zuko took to his feet and strolled over to the spot where she was sitting. "Forgive me." He softly grabbed her wrist.

Mai's eyes rested on his arm for a moment then traced their way up to his scar. "What?"

"Forgive me… please…"

"For what?"

Zuko's hand rested softly on her cheek, "Your eyes are worse then mine now… and it's my fault… isn't it?"

Mai peered into his eyes, to look at her own reflection. "I…" He was right, there was something different. She pulled away from him. Pushing past him, she strode over to a mirror. There was nothing wrong… … But there was… Her eyes were hollow, and dark. Like the life had been sucked from them.

Zuko hesitantly placed his hands on her shoulders, "Please forgive what ever it is that I did to drain the life from you."

Mai spun around. Her heart felt heavy, her throat was tight, her nose burned, but there was no feeling of tears or sobbing anywhere within her. "Your father treats everyone so badly." She began to whisper, as she grasped one of his hands that had seconds ago fallen from her shoulder. "Your ideals and peace… you're what keeps everyone going. The shining prince among the darkness of the palace, among the corrupt government. Zuko, your scar represents so much more then your suffering."

Zuko's eyes grew quickly exhausted. "Mother told me… That everything she's done, she did for me. That was before she left. Mother was the most productive queen of any Fire Lady." Zuko took Mai's other hand in his, "But everything that she did, was also her knowing that it was good for the people. …Why did you try to warn me?"

Mai stared nervously into Zuko's golden eyes. Her shoulders grew limp as her mouth tried to find the words. "I will never see the world the same way." Was all she could muster in the form of a sob.

"I don't understand." He asked.

"We're condemned, from this day forward. We can't go back to your mother Zuko. We have to keep fighting. There always has to be something that you strive for. Every sunset, that's one more step closer to death, and failure we are if we give into the idiocy that they're pushing on us."

"Why?" He whispered, his one final attempt.

Mai released his hands, as her eyes grew hollow and hopeless, "Because I love you." She bowed to him before turning her back to him and leaving the palace.

I was stained with a role, in a day and on my own. And when you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown. And I always knew, what was right, I just didn't know that I might Peal away and chose to see you with such a different side. I will never see the sky the same way 

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down_

_And I will always reach to high_

_Cause I've seen_

_Cause I've seen Twilight._

_Never cared, never wanted. Never sought to see what flaunted._

_So on purpose, so in my face, couldn't see beyond my own place._

_And it was so easy not to behold what I could hold_

_But you taught me, I could change what came within theses shallow days._

_I will never see the sky the same way_

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down_

_And I will always reach to high_

_Cause I've seen…_

_As the sun shines through, It pushes away and pushes ahead,_

_Fill the warmth of blue, And leaves a chill instead_

_And I know that I can be so blind to all that is so real_

_But as illusion dies I see there is so much to be revealed_

_And I will never see the sky the same way _

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down _

_And I will always reach to high cause I've seen_

_Twlight…_

I was stained with a role, in a day and on my own. And when you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown. And I always knew, what was right, I just didn't know that I might Peal away and chose to see you with such a different side. 

_And I will never see the sky the same way _

_And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday_

_And I will never cease to fly if held down _

_And I will always reach to high cause I've seen_

_Twlight…_

She slowly opened her eyes amongst the mess of green sheets. A smile spread across her face as she grasped his hand that rested on the pillow beside her face. Everyone in this city believed that they could be safe from the war and live happy.

"Dreams die quickly." She whispered. She edged her way back over to him and hugged her arms tightly around his shoulders. "Do you think Azula's going to destroy this Kingdom's dream?"

His golden eyes opened slowly, and met her pink ones. He was silent for a moment, then smiled, smothering one of her cheeks in his palm. "She'll have better things to do, and she'll leave Long Feng to that. So far, the people here still have dreams." He sighed deeply and placed a kiss on her pale shoulder. "Sleep well?"

Mai pulled the sheet up around her bust, "Agni Kai's don't make for very sweet reoccurring dreams."

A/n: drama drama drama. I know. It's supposed to have an angsty feel to it. The song is sad. (If you don't get it. I doubt you wont. It's about someone who went through something horrible, and has thrown themselves into a fantasy world. When they face the real world, they realize how cold it is.) I decided to just make Zuko sort of the golden figure in the story and Mai the tragic character. I love the pairing and this has been bothering me for a month now. -- I'm sleepy and ready to check in (4am pft) hopefully this was satisfactory to a point. It still didn't come across the way that I would have liked.


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